@runawaycupcake: Son: Can you teach me about fractions? Me: Sure. I love 2/3 of my children.
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@badbanana: I cried because my Wi-Fi was slow until I saw a guy stuck talking with his kids because he had no internet at all.
@Ristolable: You can put a satire warning on whatever you want. People who think Onion stories are real do not know what that word means.
@abhorrent_wife: Being a parent means hiding in a closet to eat a donut so you don't have to share.