@hazelmotes1: Son, I grew up in a golden age when the bookstore didn't have an entire section labeled "Teen Paranormal Romance."
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@dafloydsta: INTERVIEWER: On average, how often do you miss work? ME: *sweating profusely* NO ONE SAID THERE'D BE MATH
@iAmDelFreaky: *plays Rocky theme song* *cracks 5 raw eggs into glass and gulps them down* *vomits on kitchen floor* *turns off music* *cleans kitchen*
@flashember: *caterpillar looks up at sky* "My dream is to fly a plane one day." Other Caterpillar: You don't pay any attention in science class, do you?