@SomeChrisTweets: Son, I'm not a mad scientist, just a disappointed scientist.
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@Mr_Kapowski: Hair Stylist: What are we doing today? Me: Let's do something that will look great here but I'll have no chance of replicating at home
@MelKassel: The woman next to me smells SO good, is it weird if I'm like "What perfume is that, I will literally stop robbing this bank if you tell me"?
@AristotlesNZ: Me: I cant tell you how to do everything. You need to figure out how to do things on your own 5yo: Ok Me:. 5yo:. Me:. 5yo: How do I do that?
@foodandwhining: People with eyebrow, nose, and lip piercings always look like they landed face-first into a tackle box.