@SomeChrisTweets: Son, I'm not a mad scientist, just a disappointed scientist.
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@JustinGuarini: Have you ever accidentally ended a business call with "I love you?" Oh yeah me neither.
@Andee_Stewart: My teenaged daughter just asked me how to spell U2. Fingers crossed for that athletic scholarship.
@House_Feminist: Hey girl are you a new high efficiency dishwasher because you're so quiet it's hard to tell if you're turned on
@TheMichaelRock: Boss: Anyone have anything else to add to this meeting? Me: Yes. I am awesome. Boss.... Me: Write that shit down.