@SomeChrisTweets: Son, I'm not a mad scientist, just a disappointed scientist.
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@MarioInAZ: My kids are young, so when they listen to old school music they think its new. They are currently listening to a hot new band called Queen.
@themacmind: Me: Rest assured I will go to the grave with your secret. Pat: Thank you. Me: Unfortunately so will my golfing buddies.
@TheDairylandDon: I don't believe in Bigfoot; because he never believed in me. I'd scan the crowd at my ballet recitals, and always see that one empty seat.
@WilliamAder: I spend an awful lot of time picking the most desirable potato chips out of the bag for someone who's going to eat them all anyway.