@lawblob: Son, its time we had 'the talk.' [dad removes shirt, starts projector, chugs 4 beers] Ok! So Tower 1 steel beams could only have melted at-
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@merican_ninjy: Yelling out "Stranger Danger!" is a good way to say no when a cashier asks for your zip code.
@mattytalks: She was a fax machine She kept her modem clean She was the best damn printer that I've ever seen
@BlindChow: [pitching script] WRITER: then the motorcyclist removes their helmet… PRODUCER: *yawns*…and its a woman? W: it's a burrito P: holy shit