@lawblob: son let me tell you about the birds and the bees... I left a window opened and they flew in and now I'm scared to go in that room
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@bourgeoisalien: I make all my clothing choices based on what I would look like if I'm unexpectedly asked to bounce on a trampoline at some point in the day.
@TitaniumToplass: I jump out of bushes to give surprise breast exams. I save lives. nnThe police are on the lookout for me. Probably to give me an award.
@wickedsuga: My cashier at the grocery store bagged the tomatoes with the ketchup and I swear I could hear them screaming.
@Storminika: My boyfriend just sent me a txt: 'I think I want to see other people.' My reply was, 'You better look out the window.'