@lawblob: son let me tell you about the birds and the bees... I left a window opened and they flew in and now I'm scared to go in that room
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@EJGomez: [sees a baby spit up after drinking from baby bottle] "lmao yo who invited the lightweight"
@SuperJuanderer: Blood is thicker than water. Then again, so is oatmeal, and I would much rather be oatmeal brothers.
@Jesssicle: Family dinner. I was halfway through my 2nd egg roll before I realized everyone else at the table had been praying for the last 7 minutes.