@MichaelTrying: Son of Sam I Am, a serial killer who targets people who won't try new foods.
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@TheCatWhisprer: gas pump: do you want a receipt? Y/N me: *presses yes* gas pump: me: *pressing harder* YES gas pump: lol nope
@Brianhopecomedy: My wife and I are walking through Central Park and pointing out all of the places that we remember seeing dead bodies on Law & Order.
@HairyJew4Life: Filing taxes is so depressing. Do you own a home? No. Have a spouse? Not even close. Kids? Not that I know of. Enjoy your refund, loser