@MichaelTrying: Son of Sam I Am, a serial killer who targets people who won't try new foods.
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@joejwest: [tattoo parlour] ME: I'd like a tattoo as a tribute to my dad. He loved gardening & now he's dead, so maybe like a skeleton mowing the lawn?
@NoogsCorner: Whenever I see an unsecured WiFi, I just assume it's owned by a chimpanzee sitting in a room and hitting a keyboard with a hammer.