@MichaelTrying: Son of Sam I Am, a serial killer who targets people who won't try new foods.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@NervousJr: When my husband gives me shit for taking too long to get ready, I remind him that you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams.
@Humor_Fetish: There's a fine line between flirty and creepy. And that line is called being good looking.
@SadieSkyNinja: [if my cat tweeted] When "over 38" is sad and missing her boyfriend, I try and cheer her up by peeing on her shoes and puking on her phone.
@SteveKoehler22: IKEA furniture will now snap together will no tools or hardware. The company boasts that it will save thousands of h̶o̶u̶r̶s̶ marriages