@MichaelTrying: Son of Sam I Am, a serial killer who targets people who won't try new foods.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@XplodingUnicorn: My 3-year-old was counting on her fingers in the other room. She finished at 9. I am concerned on so many levels right now.
@DanMentos: [signing birth certificate] wife: you put Owen, right? me: yup nurse: Now we'll just need a footprint from little [reading] "Owned"
@Midgetspar: I love everybody. Even you, insecure person reading this hoping someone loves you ... even you.