@Just_Beachy72: Son told me "Make me a sandwich, woman" and now I have one child instead of two
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@MadcapsTPS: They refused to take my order just because I was wearing a dastardly Dracula cape. The people at the blood bank have no sense of humour.
@close_c: You know you're a bad driver when Siri tells you "after 400 feet stop and let me out"