@Just_Beachy72: Son told me "Make me a sandwich, woman" and now I have one child instead of two
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@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Boss asked if I was ready for more responsibility. I'm eating around a sticker on an apple cause I'm too lazy to peel it off so I guess no.
@david8hughes: Me: coming to the office Xmas party? Steve: no [whispers] Lisa just lost her father Me: there'll be like 50 of us there. We'll help you look
@boring_as_heck: Your search - Bruno Mars not wearing a stupid hat - did not match any documents. Did you mean: Bruno Mars wearing a stupid hat.