@animaldrumss: son, you don't need to close your eyes, it's just a movie. the killer from the movie can still get you even if you're not watching it
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@JohnLyonTweets: Facebook post: Sad news. Mom passed away this morning. Facebook: Be the first person to like this.
@Donna_McCoy: There's nothing more difficult than trying to convince a narcissist that you don't like them.
@murrman5: *shipwrecked diary* Day 1: alone, doing well. Mentally sound. Met a crab Day 2: I have married the crab. Day 3: I have eaten my wife.
@jake_likes_naps: *locks hands with stranger in elevator* im nervous, this is my first time flying