@OBiiieeee: Son, your mom and I have been fighting a lot lately and we have decided that *dad piledrives mom into the coffee table* we're gonna go pro.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@The_Grant_Boldt: God: okay I need to create something to fill the dark empty void in the meaningless lives of unmotivated people [creates Twitter]
@snow_van: Shania Twain marrying her best friend's ex husband after her husband and best friend had an affair is some count of monte cristo level shit
@shutupmikeginn: Ah yes keep complaining the guy at 7/11 doesn't speak English well enough, like you aren't the moron who needs help in a convenience store
@Home_Halfway: Kidnapping is a dumb crime because you're literally forcing yourself to hang out with someone