@OBiiieeee: Son, your mom and I have been fighting a lot lately and we have decided that *dad piledrives mom into the coffee table* we're gonna go pro.
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@Reverend_Scott: If someone posts a picture of their kid on Facebook making a stupid face, I like to comment with, "Oh, NOW I see the resemblance!"
@electrolemon: scarlet joe hanson sounds like an old timey boxer's name. "weighin' in at 182 lbs, 5'9", the ol' black widow, scarlet jooooooe hansen!"
@DeathStarPR: Stormtroopers never miss. They're just trained to fire a 21 shot salute to celebrate the commencement of every firefight.
@boring_as_heck: MISSING: SUPER ADORABLE PUPPY. WILL COME IF YOU PLAY WU-TANG HELLA LOUD. THIS IS NOT A PLOY TO GET THE NEIGHBORHOOD BUMPIN', THE DOG IS REAL