@OBiiieeee: Son, your mom and I have been fighting a lot lately and we have decided that *dad piledrives mom into the coffee table* we're gonna go pro.
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@Papa_Mex: When a coworker pisses me off, I like to write his name down for 23 boxes of girl scout cookies on the form in the break room
@LuvPug: Wrapping presents takes a LOT longer when your kid sneaks up behind you & cuts off your arm with an empty wrapping paper tube lightsaber.
@tweetfaver: hey there delilah, oh shit no i meant vicky babe i promise you're the only one no this is not a hickey ?it's just a bruuuise ?