@KenJennings: "Sooth. Sooth! SOOOTH!!!" --soothsayers
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@jergarl: Ambien: Where is your unicorn? Me: I don't have a unicorn. A: You better get naked and go into that Arby's and look for it anyway. M: Ok.
@SequelsWeWant: Back to the Future IV: Marty Mcfly stops being obsessed with his own family and goes back in time to kill Hitler.
@rmfnord: The worst part about crapping my pants at work was having to set the ACCIDENT FREE sign back to zero days in front of everybody.