@KenJennings: "Sooth. Sooth! SOOOTH!!!" --soothsayers
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@kellysdf: All those political ads are very convincing. They convinced me to stop watching television.
@hipstermermaid: 1886: We invented a car! 1903: We invented a plane! 1969: We went to the moon! ... ... ... ... ... ... 2015: Taco Emoji!
@sarah1mc: When I get murdered the neighbors will be on the news like, "Wow, I can't believe it took so long."