@AmishPornStar1: "Sorbet" is a French word that means, "I wish it was ice cream."
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@Reverend_Scott: NEWS ANCHOR: Here's Gary with day 1 of his outdoor summer weather report. GARY: [frying an egg on the sidewalk] I quit. Back to you, John.
@jlock17: Subway only exists because we're all too damn lazy to throw a sandwich together. "Could you lay meat on that bread for me? Here's $8."