@AmishPornStar1: "Sorbet" is a French word that means, "I wish it was ice cream."
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@WilliamAder: Surprised Scarlett Johansson didn't leg sweep Travolta, throw him over her should onto his back and put her foot on his throat.
@austen_420: Rules for meeting a puppy: 1 be cool 2 pet it 3 do not steal it 4 stop running from the owner 5 put it down 6 this isn't worth jail time
@sarcasticmommy4: I saw a lady jogging in the rain & I was like, "how sad, she doesn't know she could be sleeping in her bed right now."
@GayDeceiver: Meanwhile, in Facebook, Greta, who dislikes the gays, is about to get a big surprise from her son and his "roommate" of 20 years.