@brunopieroni: Sorry 2015, but I just got out of a year-long relationship with 2014 and I'm not looking for anything serious right now.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@gf3: me: *pretending to know about vegetables to impress the cashier* corm is one of my favorite yellows *gingerly taps banana*
@UncleDuke1969: My daughter, filling out a college app, called me at home to get my home number. Big shout out to the ex-wife for pissing in my gene pool.
@TheMichaelRock: Me: The bathroom Wife: What? Me: I was about to get off the couch and just wanted to stop you before you asked where I was going.
@illTortuga: From now on, when you see the word "minimum", good luck trying to not imagine a tiny British mother.