@brunopieroni: Sorry 2015, but I just got out of a year-long relationship with 2014 and I'm not looking for anything serious right now.
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@carlyken: [bank robbery] OK EVERYBODY GET DOWN! [dave starts doing the electric slide] Damn it Dave, not you, go grab the money
@HatfieldAnne: Whom the gods would destroy, they first give the WORST leg cramp and you can’t even get up fast because the cat is on you.
@dafloydsta: INTERVIEWER: Says here you have sloth-like reflexes? ME: *calls interviewer 3 years later* That is correct.