@tiffinysawyers: Sorry, but breaking up with you on facebook was the best way of letting all your friends know I'm available.
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@UncleDuke1969: Mrs. Potato Head: OH MY GOD! Mr. Potato Head: What? Mrs. PH: Your browser history. Mr. PH: I can explain! Mrs. PH: TATER TOTS YOU PERVERT?!?
@BlindChow: DOG COP: sir, you ran a gray light DOG DRIVER: it was gray! COP: no, it was gray! DRIVER: gray! COP: *starts barking* DRIVER: *barking*
@LindaInDisguise: The worst walk of shame is the one back onto the crowded elevator after getting out on the wrong floor.