@tiffinysawyers: Sorry, but breaking up with you on facebook was the best way of letting all your friends know I'm available.
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@davidkenny100: Me: how much is all the money in the world? Genie: not sure exactly Me: give me a ballpark figure POOOF *I'm now the size of Shea Stadium
@MichaelTrying: Darwin is a genius. Just realized I'm attracted to women in glasses because I'm more likely to reproduce with a woman who can't see me well.