@JennyJohnsonHi5: Sorry, but your kids don't look adorable when they lose their teeth, they look like tiny homeless people.
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@DillDoes: [god inventing animals] okay here's a new one. It's an umbrella "okay" made out of jello "alright" and it electrocutes things "you're drunk"
@AmishPornStar1: Trump assures Abe that he supports Japan 100%! "I mean, I saw Godzilla like, 7 times!" says Trump.
@TheAlexP: 9 out of 10 therapist agree to just be yourself The other one realizes that's what got you into this shit in the first place.