@nealbrennan: Sorry for illegally downloading your music, guy who mostly makes songs about doing crime.
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@_SingleBabyMama: So, I'm officially off the market. Got a DM from a faceless Avi proposing marriage in broken English. We're planning a June wedding!
@Parkerlawyer: Told my kids I loved them at carpool and no one responded so I yelled, "I love you too!" while hanging out of the sunroof. Me, 1 Kids, 0
@JoParkerBear: It's always uncomfortable when someone says you might be their soulmate, and you have to tell them you don't have a soul.