@nealbrennan: Sorry for illegally downloading your music, guy who mostly makes songs about doing crime.
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@sixfootcandy: Avoid being invited back to a party by showing up with a 25-gallon jug of lube and a box of rubber gloves.
@wolfpupy: i have been told spending the night in this haunted house will grant me immunity from being pranked or fooled on the april fool day
@david8hughes: [family game night] Me: do u understand now, grandma? U understand the rules now? Mum [tappin my shoulder]: she gets it. Loosen the headlock