@batkaren: SORRY FOR MY POOR VOLUME CONTROL REGULATION BUT THIS IS A GOOD CUDDLE
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@chaddaniels34: Sometimes when my wife tells me she loves me I get the feeling it's the tennis kind.
@slimmy_shady: [wife enters as I'm doing the worm] Wife: WTH are you doing? Me: It's not what it looks like. Worm: Who the hell is she?!
@StatusInBeirut: In the future: "So Zionists tried to take a people's home and said god gave it to them." "So what happened?" "Apparently god disagreed."
@fanofhell: [sees people filming a movie] yeah real original. a movie. like that's never been done before