@DaddyJew: Sorry for teaching your kids to yell "STRANGER DANGER" whenever you tell them they can't have something LOL
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@Thynebear: [baby takes its first steps] me in a cop outfit: not even close to a straight line buddy, you're going away for a long long time.
@daemonic3: I'm opening a healthy alternative all egg-white omelet breakfast joint. I really think my "Whites Only!" restaurant idea will be a hit!
@_LUMP: People in Arab nations are still wondering what all the western world hub bub about hump day and camel toe is about.
@knotta_tardfan: I tried driving today without texting, eating or getting high but it was so boring I fell asleep at the wheel. Thanks, Oprah.