@fillthevacuum: Sorry for throwing mice at your wedding.
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@TheSwanDon: Girls quote Marilyn Monroe relationship and life advice so much its almost like she wasn't a three time divorced, drug-addicted alcoholic.
@jonnysun: "the names bond, james bond" [5 min later] STARBUCKS BARISTA: i gota frappe for borbjorbple
@Chloestylo: Hormonal teenage daughter: Where do you want to be buried? Me: You mean after I die, right?