@fillthevacuum: Sorry for throwing mice at your wedding.
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@Floatersfinest: If God is a woman then how do you explain: 1) Spiders 2) Shoes you can't afford 3) Periods 4) Men
@kumailn: If someone's mean to you, just lean in and whisper "I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world" to them & get that monstrosity stuck in their head.
@vikkaroni: Pro tip: Instead of having kids, just adopt a couple raccoons. They'll trash your house too, but at least they can feed themselves.
@Cryptoterra: Christian politicians hate science because they think it's always talking about two Adams bonding