@atanya1111: "Sorry, her father is a pterodactyl" - me with the screeching baby in the grocery store.
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@Flattliner: The last time Twitter was down I was forced to speak to real people. Real people go on and on and on and on, for way over 140 characters...
@markydoodoo: Marry someone who loves Hawaiian pizza so you can just get your own good tasting pizza all to yourself.
@TheCatWhisprer: My favorite thing about all the people waiting in line for the new iPhones is for those hours the rest of the world is a better place.