@LackOfShame: Sorry I ate all your cake after you passed out and then drew your angry eyebrows on so you'd be ready to discuss it when you woke up.
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@squirrel74wkgn: *pounding on her chest* DON'T DIE ON ME KAREN! *pounds harder* (sobbing) BREATHE DAMMIT! CPR instructor: Ok, so that was wrong.
@dubstep4dads: i bet the first guy to say "smooth as a babies bottom" wasnt the most respected man in the community