@weinerdog4life: Sorry I ate your frisbee bro, I thought it was a tortilla, I like to eat tortillas I find at the park.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@librarianfonz: An idea only achieves transcendence after it is: 1. Published as book 2. Made into a feature film 3. Turned into an amusement park ride
@Eric_Bader: If the Zombie Apocolypse doesn't start out like the dance portion of the Thriller video I'm going to be so pissed.
@ericsshadow: [my son threatens to run away after I take away his iPad] "Here $60. It's all I have. Call if you need more."