@bondgirl_79: Sorry I called animal control about your children but I really think those tranquilizer darts did the trick.
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@WheelTod: Remember kids -- it may be illegal to text and drive; but you can still lawfully handwrite someone a heartfelt letter at 50mph.
@WilliamAder: Told my wife that Hooters is an owl rescue sanctuary where I'm doing important volunteer work.
@AGStr8upNinja: She told me she liked it doggy style so I gave her a treat & took her for a walk.
@SamGrittner: Every horse you've ever seen has two people inside them. Horses aren't real. Commitment is.