@SlipperySecret: Sorry I called you "sexy" and didn't really mean it, but I was hungry and you were a mirage of pizza.
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@BerrryDLite: Coworker: My arms are killing me from hoeing in my garden this weekend. Me: Thanks but I'd rather not hear about your sex life.
@Shock_Monster: I swear to holy hell, Aunt Pat, I would rather lick a midget's taint than accept your invitation to play Lucky Slots.
@CrystalTheRed: Laundry Day Me: Tell me about this lipstick on your shirt. Him: Babe, I can explain! Me: Don't care. Just ask her the brand and shade name.