@SortaBad: Sorry I can't come to your thing tonight, I'm too busy figuring out an excuse about why I can't come to your thing next week
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@karencreets: Just backed into a Jaguar but I left him a note on my bank statement so he knows not to bother calling
@rolldiggity: Every Scooby-Doo mystery could be solved by asking, "1: Who is your most disgruntled employee?" and "2: Does he have access to a mask shop?"
@novicefather: Shoutout to that one time I confused narcolepsy and necrophilia during a job interview.