@bendymommy: Sorry I can't date you because I'm seeing anybody else.
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@gerryhallcomedy: When you go to buy fire insurance for your house, don't tell them you need it by a certain date.
@Dirty_Naomi: Teaching your dog to fetch a beer is smart. Fetching it from the neighbours house is genius.
@SteveSuckington: Her: "Add insult to injury why don't you" Me: "Your broken leg looks fat in that cast"
@JennyJohnsonHi5: The only thing I know about Downton Abbey is that everyone looks as if they smell like the bottom of my Nana's purse.