@SortaBad: Sorry I can't pay for a new car right now, I'm still paying off a Naked Juice I bought in 2014
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@NATxHAN: Me: Santa, why are women so scary? Santa: dude come on, I make $8.50 an hour, get off me.
@murrman5: *buys Sushi for Dummies* *preheats oven* *reads first page of Sushi for Dummies* *turns off oven*
@hazelmotes1: On the Titanic 0 people died from alcohol poisoning and 1,500 people died from drinking too much water. You decide which is more dangerous.
@Sarcasmo718: Most meth cooks start by clicking on an ad to make $500-$800 a day working from home.