@SortaBad: Sorry I can't pay for a new car right now, I'm still paying off a Naked Juice I bought in 2014
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@ArfMeasures: [court] LAWYER: Did u kill him? ME: No L: You know what the punishment is for committing perjury? ME [lips on the mic] Much less than murder
@Reverend_Scott: Cop: Know why I pulled you over? Me: Because I'm black?? Cop: Sir, you're white, driving 90 in a 30. Me: Racist. Cop: Get out.