@robfee: Sorry I can't pay my rent this month, I bought an apple at the airport.
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@TweetPotato314: [Office Supply Store] Me: *getting toner* Clerk: Sir, please stop those jumping jacks.
@Mr_Kapowski: A coworker sent me an instant message mistakenly typing "The cloak stopped working" to which I responded "OMG you can see me?!"
@shashaintl: A strong person stands up for himself. A stronger person stands up for himself while bench pressing another person standing up for himself.