@gentilecoont: Sorry I conned your kid out of their Chuck E Cheese tickets. Maybe try not raising a sucker. Now excuse me, I have a sweet toy to play with.
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@hippieswordfish: 'maybe the world wasn't ready for pizza perfume' i thought to myself as i hid in a dumpster, watching the townspeople try to eat each other
@Book_Krazy: [At Mall] Good cop: CLEAR A PATH PEOPLE! Bad cop: OFFICIAL POLICE BUSINESS Black Friday cop: *Segways past everyone & gets the last HDTV*
@NicestHippo: "It doesn't matter what you look like on the outside" ME: Oh thank god "It's who you are on the inside" ME: Dang