@gentilecoont: Sorry I conned your kid out of their Chuck E Cheese tickets. Maybe try not raising a sucker. Now excuse me, I have a sweet toy to play with.
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@CulturedRuffian: INSTRUCTIONS FOR FITTED SHEETS: 1) Know when to hold em. 2) Know when to fold em. 3) Know when to walk away. 4) Know when to run.
@MischievousJam: Today seems like the perfect day to make important life altering decisions! - Me, when I've gone two days without sleep
@hythemafia: Scanned a customer in the eyes with a barcode reader for being rude to me.... ...should have seen the look on his face, it was priceless