@robdelaney: “Sorry I didn’t reply to your email Terry, a wolf ripped my hands off… Oh these? Um, I got new hands? Gotta go!”
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@Tierno158: CNN reports Hurricane Patricia "hit luxury resorts and impoverished villages with equal ferocity." Did they expect wealth-based discernment?
@CornOnTheGoblin: The lead singer of Chumbawamba died earlier today. During his autopsy his body got knocked down...and that's when things got interesting.
@houffy: Wife: Talk sexy to me Husband: Commencing garment extraction W: Huh? H: Initiating trouser disengagement W: ... H: Removing unmentionables
@SaxMouse: When you get to jail, challenge the biggest, baddest guy in there to rock, paper, scissors in front of all his friends