@Matt_The_1st: Sorry I didn't reply to your text, I just couldn't find a response that would keep you from sending another
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@CelebrityChez: In retrospect, "so I guess we would all look the same if we were made into sausage" was probably weird small talk for a funeral.
@martyntanton: My wife told me, "I look really fat. Please make me feel better and compliment me." I said, "You have perfect eyesight."
@yogaknifefight: Oh panic attacks,I thought you said pancake attacks because I have those all the time.