@Fickle_Filly: Sorry I dressed up like Captain Caveman when you asked me if I wanted to go clubbing.
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@outsmartedmommy: 7yo: Did you drink coffee before we were born? Me: Yes 7yo: Did you eat pancakes? Me: Yes 7yo: What didn't you do? Me: Talk while peeing.
@Brianhopecomedy: My wife said that my 5 year old gets really hyper because of the sugar he has at breakfast so I think I'll stop putting it in his coffee.
@djdarrellripley: The twin sisters that live next door to me, shower is broke so they're using mine. So, you know what that means... More hair in my drain.
@BuckyIsotope: *moon landing* That's one small step for man, one giant leap for updog "What's updog?" NOT MUCH JUST WALKING ON THE MOON WHAT'S UP WITH YOU