@runolgarun: "Sorry, I fail to see how I 'misled' you when my profile CLEARLY says I'm 'a total cat person'?" - half-cat/half-person being after bad date
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@Donna_Gallers: Avoid the horror of watching your children’s nativity this year by using a condom approximately six years before you have to attend.
@: The doctor says I'm depressed because I don't have enough iron in my diet so I've started nibbling on the gun in my mouth.
@retardedwriter: This guy texting in metro besides me keeps covering his phone, like I care about his dinner plans in CP with his girlfrnd "Shona baby"
@TheToddWilliams: [sideline] QB: Do you think I should go for it? COACH: I say go for it [huddle] CENTER: So? QB: Would you like to go for a coffee sometime?