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@sharpular: Sorry I got discombobulated.
I'm rebobulated now.
@birbigs: At jury duty they said, "You do not have to be fluent in English." So what you're supposed to do is just guess if the guy is innocent.
@GrantTanaka: Went to an Air & Space museum today, nothing was in there. I asked "So what's the exhibit?" & the guy was like "You're breathing it, man."
@patrickoriley: I'm so hungry I could eat this piece of paper.
*adds salt to resume*
@fro_vo: [first date]
Me: so what do you do
Date: i’m an accountant
Me: oh nice
Me: so how many ants have u counted so far
@TechnicallyRon: My new erotic novel "Love in the time of autocorrect" will be out soon. Here is a sample