@JoyceCarolTotes: Sorry I got kicked out of the auditorium for yelling GET A TOMB YOU TWO during your little brother's 9th grade production of Romeo & Juliet.
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@Ilovelamp1979: Every idiot in Florida just turned on their electric heater & they crashed the grid. Now I'm forced to watch my neighbor sleep in the dark.
@Donnie_Fairburn: If nothing else, the iOS7 update has proved it's usefulness by automatically adding the little accent mark to the word jalapeño for me.
@dragonsorbet: Cute girl: omg I love this bread [At the next table] Jesus: [loudly, holding up a slice of bread] so this is my body