@WineMummy: Sorry I had sex with your hot gardener, but in my defense, you did say that I needed Jesus in me.
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@TheAlexP: Her: How'd you get those weird scars on your arm? *remembers wrestling kid for last piece of birthday cake & getting sporked* Rattle snake
@jergarl: Wife:Did you take ambien last night? Me: *recalls riding a unicorn that's on fire* No, why? W:The dog's wearing a saddle and she's orange.
@Classy_Cassy89: If the people in your car don't match the stick figures on your rear window, I'll report your vehicle stolen.