@pete46and2: Sorry I handed you a broom when you asked for a ride.
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@SteveSuckington: "U can legally stab someone if u suspect they're a Gary." -no you can't *pulling knife from sheath* "Sounds like somthin a Gary would say"
@BreachingBad: She : You have a girlfriend. Me : No. I had. She : Where did she go? Me : She Ransomware.
@DanMentos: "We were trapped in the elevator and had to make a terrible decision" Which was? "We ate Bill" OMG. How long were you in there? “4 minutes"
@GFGander: Sucks when good bands have dumb names. "What are you listening to?" "It's Made Out of Babies, they're really great." "..."