@pete46and2: Sorry I handed you a broom when you asked for a ride.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Goldishocks: Falling in love is like diving into a tin of marshmallows, then hitting your head on the bottom.
@justabloodygame: "Four more years! Four more years! Four more years!" The parole board chants, as I enter my hearing. This was not a good sign.
@LiamDrydenEtc: "Millennials are so entitled!" Aye well I don't see 20-somethings screaming for the manager because their coupon expired a month ago, Janet
@audipenny: friend: let's meet up soon me: *in the crow's nest of a ship docking outside your house* when though