@Matt_The_1st: Sorry I have been gone for the last two days, my son had a quick story to tell me
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@KKAlThani: My personal trainer told me to stop eating pizzas but if I'm craving it I should just eat one slice. So now I ask them not to cut the pizza.
@rynbtmn: None of the scenarios in which I would require a watch that works 200m underwater are situations in which my watch would be my main concern.
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Cop: This is a ticket for drunk and disorderly behavior. Me: Can I have another? I'd like to bring a guest.
@djdarrellripley: Her: I dreamt I was being murdered. Me: Was I the one who was murdering you? Her: No. Me: (Sigh) Well, was I helping in any way at all?