@Bandersnaaatch: Sorry I haven't been able to get back to you, I've been pretty busy chasing this cherry tomato around my plate with a fork. Almost. Got. It.
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@Ms_Shazam: "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go." - Me to my children.
@shegotagronk: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 53 times a day, you're an Instagram filter.
@thepunningman: Dr "Do you want the good news or the bad news?" Patient "Good" Dr "You have 6 months to live" P "What's the bad news!?" Dr "...in dog years"