@NurseSeymour: Sorry I haven't returned your text in 3 days, I was taking a nap.
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@Duke1173: I'd like to thank the British for wearing red coats and making it easier to shoot them 238 years ago. We couldn't have done this without you
@skickwriter: Him: *running* That's not what they mean when they say, "Chicks dig scars!" Me: *shovel in hand* It's what this chick means.
@nattylumpo88: I wish Kristen from finance would tell us her husband was an "attorney" one more time so I could feel better about shitting in her purse.