@NurseSeymour: Sorry I haven't returned your text in 3 days, I was taking a nap.
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@lisaxy424: *phone rings* Meh, if it's so important, they'll leave a message. *voicemail notification* Meh, if it's so important, they'll text.
@kumailn: The Devil has his own Bible. He's releasing it slowly in internet comment threads all across the web.
@IslandsJunk: Win a Canadian marathon by putting a door just before the finish line and having them all wait for you to go through first.