@GrumpyBahr: Sorry I haven't tweeted much. Kathy on facebook was keeping us updated on her menstrual cramps.
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@RandomAntics: Woman: Please send an ambulance, I'm having contradictions!! Operator: Ma'am, do you mean 'contractions'? Woman: Yes! No!
@ThisOneSayz: Am I winning or losing at parenting if my 3yo says, "ooohhh chicken nuggets!" as I pull up to the security booth at a gated community?
@rickolantern: Me: I found this in the fridge with your name on it. Are you gonna eat it? CW: That's my stapler Me: You didn't answer my question
@Reverend_Scott: Ok doc, give it to me straight. "It's cancer" How bad? "Really bad, you have 2 months." OMG "APRIL FOOLS!" Whew- "You have 2 days."