@Petote: Sorry I headbutted you, I was gonna punch you but, I was holding wine.
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@shaztaberry: I am going to the Antique Roadshow. Gonna slap my tampon on the table and ask them what period it's from.
@dafloydsta: [job interview] "Tell me a weakness." I never finish what I start. "Care to elaborate?" *grabbing my stuff* Nah, I gotta get going.
@SufficientCharm: A fun way to give your man a little scare is to ask him, "Do you know what tomorrow is?" and watch the panic set in.
@MoneypennyNaked: Apparently speed dating doesn't involve taking amphetamines. UGH. Worst night ever.