@Bob_Heller: Sorry I interrupted your wedding dance with a much much better dance
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@tigersgoroooar: If a boy put rose petals all over my bed I’d be like you’re cleaning this up I’m not cleaning this up
@gorrdano: Thanks, I wrote the tweet. There's no need to reiterate it back to me with quotation marks.
@TheToddWilliams: Scientists at the Federal Helium Reserve indicate they're storing a billion cubic meters of helium gas. It's a lot funnier when they say it.
@TheMichaelRock: boss: are you high? me: no, i'm on dayquil boss: dayquil doesn't do that me: must be the cocaine then