@TheMichaelRock: Sorry, I just got your text. Do you still need a ride to the ER?
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@Sassafrantz: Saw a couple wearing surgical masks in public and all I could think was "what do they know that I don't?"
@TEXASVETERAN: Neighbor thinks I'm stalking her. Any time she hears a noise she is purified. Petrified! Sorry, not easy reading a diary thru binoculars.
@tigdonovan: Stop tweeting about what real women are and are not. You're going to blow my secret that I'm a lizard creature zipped into a woman suit
@BigBagOfScum: the restraining order doesn't mean we can't hang, it just means I can't be within 50'. We could still play catch or frisbee or something...