@murrman5: Sorry I lied about knowing how to play the piano. What's that? Yes, I agree it made the funeral uncomfortable.
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@DaveTheAlbino: There's absolutely no way Lady Gaga was born with half an Office Depot hot-glued to her head.
@SveldtSmelt: Talking to women is a lot like origami. I don't know where to start and I always end up screaming.
@naazihah: The Very Hungry Caterpillar taught me that I can binge eat carbs and then take a two week nap and I'll become beautiful.
@kelkulus: India launched a rocket to Mars this morning. That's a heck of a place to put a call centre.