@Freudstombstone: Sorry I missed your funeral, but in my defense, you're not coming to mine.
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@ItsAndyRyan: Unfortunately, the house having 'period features' turned out to mean we had to get the decorators in once a month.
@NYC_Blonde: Rihanna knows that diamonds are buried in volcanic rocks and those beautiful things in the sky are just hot balls of gas, right?
@WheelTod: A guy I know got bitten by a radioactive bedbug. He spent 3 weeks in a coma, but when he came round again he was able to fold a fitted sheet