@E_lok44: Sorry I painted a hat on your head while you were sleeping, but I can't knit.
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@SufficientCharm: Pretty sure my dog is even ashamed of me right now, and I've seen him do some questionable shit. Don't ask.
@Rollinintheseat: Never play musical chairs against a person in a wheelchair. They will always beat you.
@stuckinaportal: look son, i kinda need you to go to hong kong & win a martial arts tournament to the death for me because i sorta told my neighbor you did
@StorybookBlonde: My cell phone fell in the pool...now I know what it feels like to have someone you love drown.