@Kendragarden: Sorry I picked up your pug and ran him in for a touchdown.
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@Jam453Lane: When someone uses the bathroom and asks about the wine cork floating in the toilet is why I don't invite people to my house.
@doctorveritas: "I've got chills. They're multiplying." "Sir, you're going into shock. Please stop narrating--" "And I'm losing control." "Sir!"
@longwall26: It must be almost impossible for chalk-outline guys not to turn victims' hands into turkeys this time of year.