@Mr_Kapowski: Sorry I reported your newborn's pic on FB but nudity is nudity
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@robfee: Frozen (2013): A girl with magical powers causes adults to talk nonstop about a movie for children
@CulturedRuffian: I scream, You scream, We all scream because grandma is visiting for Christmas and she forgot her hearing aids again.
@AndyAsAdjective: [SETI receives extraterrestrial signal from 95 light years away] [scientist decodes message in the signal] "enough…with…the…Harambe…jokes"
@YayForJam: Order a pizza then act confused when it arrives. "A delivery for Aaron? Aarons DEAD. He DIED ordering a pizza in this house 10 years ago"