@Reverend_Scott: Sorry I said, "Whoa, hope he's good at math." when you showed me your kid's finger painting.
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@HatfieldAnne: Dinner: I BIT THE INSIDE OF MY MOUTH! IT WILL NEVER HEAL! NOTHING WILL EVER BE RIGHT AGAIN! Next morning: Oh, OK.
@JohnHilsen: The Passion of the Christ 2: Jesus in Space He conquered the sins of the world, but can he conquer the sins of the galaxy?
@Playing_Dad: [Cops at crime scene] Cop 1: Criminal scum. They must have taken every single toilet. Cop 2: Wow, they really left us nothing to go on.