@brennadine: Sorry I said your mom's beef stroganoff was stroganawful.
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@Sassafrantz: He'd probably stop sending me "good morning, beautiful" texts if he saw how many chins pop out when I look down to read it.
@batkaren: "Welcome, Karen, to Pants On Fire!" the game show host says. "Excited to be here!" I tell him. The host eyes me. "Are you?" My forced smile starts to break. Sweat beads drip down my face, and I swallow hard. "Light up her pants, guys," the host orders.
@brookeisgolden: Based on my experience with trying to find the restroom at Kohl's, I would die first in the Hunger Games.