@brennadine: Sorry I said your mom's beef stroganoff was stroganawful.
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@CornOnTheGoblin: mom: are you kids committing seppuku in there me: [trying to scoop my guts back inside me] NO mom: ok... no seppuku
@Rollmaninoz: *giraffe getting his daily coffee* G: usual grande mocha man Barista: gee that’s a… G: *sigh* B:…tall order G: Christ, every goddam day Phil
@batkaren: ROBOT: You cannot defeat us ENGLISH TEACHER: Why's the ch pronounced differently in orchid than in orchard? ROBOT: [twitch, spark]
@MollySneed: "I'm glad you're so normal. It's refreshing." "That's me- totally normal!" *waves off mariachi band waiting in the wings*